In the old days, Funky Friday meant us girls went out dancing at the OBI on the water to funky town, now, there is a serial killer lose there, and funky Friday means something totally different to me!
Did I tell you I am dying for Chinese food? Old habits, break hard, for YEARS, every Friday on the way home from work, Terry would bring home Chinese food for dinner, even if he were in trial and it was a late night, they were open to 11:00 pm, so we had it made. Tonight, I want it so bad I can taste it!
Well, that's how I feel about wanting my old life back, even though looking back, there was nothing spectacular about my life, we were homebodies, and liked it that way, spending time home with the family is what we liked best, now, for Terry to make it through 1, 1 hr TV show with me would be a gift, a blessing.
Have you ever watched anyone die before? I sure haven't! But, let me just start out by saying it is a process, and you can literally see the life being drawn out of them, slowly, but surely, but, in this case, I wouldn't even say slowly, it is so very, very hard, and heart breaking.
Today, Cody asked, why does daddy sleep all the time, and why does his head hang, now most of you won't get this, but Julie & I have a running joke about a head hanging in a swing, and it is JUST like that, I asked him, does it take too much energy to hold your head up, and basically, his muscles feel better just totally relaxed, which to me, is near death, I will NEVER look at another person hanging their head down the same again!
Last night, I pulled an all nighter, while having the flu and 102 temp, I had a wholesale order I needed to get done, and between caring for Terry, Cody & everything else, there were not enough hours, so I finally finished it, but, when I figured it out I was getting less than $3 an hour to work all night!
The drier is still broke, should be up & running tomorrow, we are out of clothes, a week with no dryer, and I had washed 2 loads before I knew the dryer was broken, so the stench from the wet clothes is just awful, tomorrow, I will be spending the day doing laundry, and it hasn't helped that Terry's dog, knows something is up and he has been peeing everywhere!
This week, we made the final plans for the funeral, how fun, if you donate your organs to science they cremate you for free, so I am going that route, and the Rev from hospice, will come to my apartment & do a small service outside where we renewed our vows, since that spot is important to us. I want my kids to give him a send off and at least something they will remember. So we are making scrap books, and I am writing a book of memories, & stories from Terry's childhood, called Tuesdays with Terry, his grandchildren won't get to meet him, but, they will "know" him, if I can help it!
Well, I guess I won't be getting any CHinese tonight, or dancing to funky town, so I will sign off for tonight.............BLESSINGS FROM HEAVEN!